lovelylor:

I still die laughing everytime I see this scene 

(Source: heathledgers, via dirkedstrider)

Anonymous said: If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his iPod?

ikimaru:

"College as explained to me in high school" vs. "College as experienced firsthand"

  • In high school they told us: There will be no grades in a class except the midterm and the final, so you have to study hard because failing one test means you fail the class.
  • Once I was in college a professor said: Hey, you guys are working really hard on your third paper, so I'm just going to cancel the final and give everyone a hundred on it.
  • In high school they told us: In college, class always begins exactly at the scheduled start time. If your class is at 9 AM and you get there at 9:01, the doors will be locked and you'll be out of luck, especially if it's the day of the midterm or final, because then you get a zero.
  • Once I was in college a professor said: Does anyone mind if I start class at 3:35 instead of 3:30? These elevators are really slow and I want to have time for a cigarette before I teach for 90 minutes.
  • In high school they told us: Every class you miss drops you a full letter grade in college courses.
  • Once I was in college almost every professor said: You can miss three classes without a penalty, and a few more if you have a Doctor's note. Sorry to be a hardass, but you automatically fail if you miss more than ten days of class.
  • In high school they told us: If you do have papers, your professors just lecture and put the assignments on the syllabus. You're completely responsible for remembering the deadlines, they won't remind you. All your professors will do is lecture and the rest is up to you.
  • Once I was in college a professor said: Okay, so your next paper is in two weeks! I'll keep reminding you in the interim, but I just want to make sure you have enough time to do it! Let's run through the structure I want to see real quick, and if you have any questions, feel free to email me or come to my office hours!
  • In high school they told us: You have to use MLA formatting and if you make any mistakes in your citations, it'll be considered plagiarism. You'll be expelled and probably sued.
  • Once I was in college almost every professor said: Please do not use MLA, it is awful, we use either APA or Chicago here because we are not 14 years old.

hmbcp:

danceisagodgivengift:

Women’s Halloween costumes make me mad.

look at the names of the luigi one 

(via invaderfuzzytalon)

levayajade:

sketchythiings:

victoryshallbeminehahahaha:

killedmycatatemytailor:

pr1nceshawn:

Kids Give Their Opinions About Marriage…

Pam’s going far in life.

Ricky’s going pretty far too

Too brilliant to not reblog.

Alan is going to die alone

I respect Freddie

(via ryan-thejokesonme-guy)

mylittlebig-world-of-my-mind:

take-me-tom-hiddleston:

ship-it-all-the-way:

jadedfalling:

sickledsnake:

itsdorkgirl:


BOND is a tiny touch module. It can be a pendant or a bracelet but it comes in pairs. You keep one and you give one to a friend. When you touch it, your friend feels it. No matter where they are on the planet. We don’t do tweets, we do tickles.

gonna put it on my dick

THAT IS NOT THE INTENDED USE SIR

This is actually so cool because some people wear bracelets and necklaces and things as comfort items. I used to wear a necklace from my grandma to remind me of her and I would touch the pendant on it when I was feeling down or stressed. So imagine (if she were still alive), every time I did that she would know I was thinking of her, drawing strength from her.
And then imagine poking it and the other person feels it and pokes back and you end up in a real life facebook poke war.

I would send messages in morse code

magine you and your best friend have one. When the friend dies, he/she is buried with the bracelet. A couple weeks later, you feel someone touch your wrist.

Well this escalated from cool tech to perverted hilarity to something heartfelt then finally something out a creepypasta

mylittlebig-world-of-my-mind:

take-me-tom-hiddleston:

ship-it-all-the-way:

jadedfalling:

sickledsnake:

itsdorkgirl:

BOND is a tiny touch module. It can be a pendant or a bracelet but it comes in pairs. You keep one and you give one to a friend. When you touch it, your friend feels it. No matter where they are on the planet. We don’t do tweets, we do tickles.

gonna put it on my dick

THAT IS NOT THE INTENDED USE SIR

This is actually so cool because some people wear bracelets and necklaces and things as comfort items. I used to wear a necklace from my grandma to remind me of her and I would touch the pendant on it when I was feeling down or stressed. So imagine (if she were still alive), every time I did that she would know I was thinking of her, drawing strength from her.

And then imagine poking it and the other person feels it and pokes back and you end up in a real life facebook poke war.

I would send messages in morse code

magine you and your best friend have one. When the friend dies, he/she is buried with the bracelet. A couple weeks later, you feel someone touch your wrist.

Well this escalated from cool tech to perverted hilarity to something heartfelt then finally something out a creepypasta

(Source: ldrsociety, via kaiju3)

powerfulturtles:

YouTubers calling out Sam Pepper’s actions

(Source: tyler-thequeen, via ryan-thejokesonme-guy)

hannahberrie:

wishing-i-were-elsa:

urumera-chan:

For the First Time in Forever Reprise (No Instruments)

I love how you can hear only their voice and the sound of the winds

So amazing!! I love the reprise song the best, and I’ll never get tired of these “No instruments” Frozen songs!

seriously how do people make these 

(via ryan-thejokesonme-guy)

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)

  • Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
  • Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
  • Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
  • Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
  • Dad: Hey are you awake? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
  • Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
  • Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
  • Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
  • Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
  • Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
  • Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
  • Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
  • Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
  • Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
  • Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
  • Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
  • Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
  • Dad: Fuck the government.
  • Dad: Fuck the school board.
  • Dad: Close the door.
  • Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
  • Dad: I love puns.
  • Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
  • Dad: Please shut up.
  • Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
  • Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
  • Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
  • Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
  • Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
  • Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
  • Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
  • Dad: They act like I care what they think.
  • Dad: I hate homework.
  • Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
  • Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.

callerina:

hisprincessinconverse:

danfreakindavis:

REMINDER: if you have a vagina and want to use Plan B as an emergency contraceptive, it loses effectiveness if you weigh more than 165 lbs (74.84 kg) and is completely ineffective for those that weight more than 176 lbs (79.83 kg) (x)

Whhhhat?
Excuse me.
Let me spread the shit out of this.

This is horrifying. And sadly true.

(via ryan-thejokesonme-guy)

honeystopthecar:

beardyboywonder:

every gamer’s reaction upon finding a blood-covered room: well that’s not good

I am pretty sure that is not exclusive just to gamers.

(via quinkit)

akelles:

usbport:

I respect bees more than I respect white men in positions of power

bees make an important contribution to the survival of the human race which makes them the exact opposite of white men in positions of power

(via ryan-thejokesonme-guy)

niftey:

all doodles stuck together!

(via chickenstab)

feministbatwoman:

huffingtonpost:

Columbia University Student Will Drag Her Mattress Around Campus Until Her Rapist Is Gone

"I think the act of carrying something that is normally found in our bedroom out into the light is supposed to mirror the way I’ve talked to the media and talked to different news channels, etc," Emma continues in the full video which you can watch here. 

So, I just want to go into HOW MUCH Columbia and the NYPD has failed, and revictimized, Emma Sulkowitz.

In her school hearing, Sulkowitz ” had to explain to the three administrators on the panel how anal rape worked. She told them she had been hit across the face, choked and pinned down, but, she said, one still seemed confused about how it was possible for someone to penetrate her there without lubricant. Sulkowicz said she had to draw them a diagram.”

"Her best friend was meant to be at the hearing; Sulkowicz had chosen her as her one “supporter.” But her friend was kicked out of that role for talking about the case, according to Sulkowicz, in violation of the university’s confidentiality policy. As punishment, her friend was also put on probation and made to write two reflection papers: one from the perspective of Sulkowicz and another from the accused."

FROM THE PERSPECTIVE
OF HER FRIEND’S RAPIST

- Two other women at Columbia have accused this guy of sexual assault/rape. But he’s been found not responsible in all instances, and is still on campus

- When she went to the police, one officer said: “”You invited him into your room. That’s not the legal definition of rape.”

- Another officer told her friends, who came with her: ““For every single rape I’ve had, I’ve had 20 that are total bull——,” he added. “It’s also my type of job to get to the truth. If that means being harsh about it, that’s what I do.”

And that’s.
Why.
People.
Don’t.
REPORT.

I want to set literally everything on fire.

(via ryan-thejokesonme-guy)

seriousjones:

seriousjones:

when your gf writes you a sweet message on your bathroom mirror <3

image

(via klefable)

Master Ball - Pokemon